...Missleading title.
I'm back. I'm older and hopefully wiser.
Reading my old jounral enteries, my poems, feels really weird. Not like they were written by someone else, just like they're very far away from who I am...disconnected.
There's times when I feel like a clone.
He says all the right things at exactly the right time, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why.
Tell me I'm special and I'll try to believe you.
...pro/mise.
If the slipper fits, you wear it whore.
I miss the sexy Welsh men, they were cool.
I miss being in love, I want to be that special kind of stupid again.
There was this guy. This reasonably cute, ridiculously nice, lovely guy. And he really liked me. And I wanted to like him back, I tried to. For a while I even conviced myself I did. But I didn't. I just wanted someone to want me that way. I went to the cinema with him, but Kate and Caolan were there too so it wasn't a date. And we had a great time. He's so funny and charming and nice. And afterwards we got chased by a security guard and hid behind a fountain. We laughed so hard. We lay in the dirt and just were...but there was no spark. Nothing. I just want to be in love, for someone to be in love with me. The next day I was in a sleep deprived daze. I saw him in Tesco, with some girl. They looked pretty couply. I waited for the jealousy...but there was none. That upset me more then anything. I kept asking myself, 'What's wrong with me?' I wondered around Tesco and everything was so painfully mundain. I just kept thinking 'Is this my life? Is this it?' I cried when I got home.
I really need to get my passport sorted or a won't be able to go to London.
I want a cookie...
Alison isn't fine. I'm worried...
Unconvinced 'Okay'.
In the cold light of morning this will all seem like a dream.

This is a conciousness stream. Don't step in, you'll get your feet wet.